More sense on the issue of rape

“God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”

~ Robin Williams.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon some screenshots on a friend’s post, capturing a certain Twitter user’s rape experience. As usual, there were comments outrightly condemning rape and (unfortunately) comments blaming the victim. I took time to study the comments (a sampling of which I have included in the comment section, not to vilify the commenters but to elucidate the point I seek to make), especially from male commenters, that tacitly or explicitly blamed the victim in a bid to understand the mindset of many a Nigerian with regards to rape. These popular opinions—most of which point to the worrying fact that A LOT of Nigerians still don’t understand the concept of consent—have been distilled and simplified below 👇: Continue reading “More sense on the issue of rape”


Their Name Is Hope

On the day this picture was taken, it was not an entirely happy day for me. I was happy but unhappy and majority of my unhappiness was as a result of the living condition of the awesome children in the above picture.

They were not guilty of whatever led to their displacement, but they are now widely recognized as IDPs. They are away from the comfort of their previous homes which may not even be enough comfort. A lot has been taken away from them, but looking deep into their eyes and right through into their hearts, I saw ONE very important thing that has not been taken away from them… Continue reading “Their Name Is Hope”


Male Rape Is Not Less Than Rape


When the arguments on “if a male can be raped too“, I roll my eyes and wonder what planet some of us are from, but because ignorance, I forgive them.

When I read someone who understands the male struggle as I do, I can’t help but share…

Read Ijeoma Chinonyerem’s opinion on male rape.. Continue reading “Male Rape Is Not Less Than Rape”


The Society Isn’t Helping…

demystify-abuse-1Following the recent happenings both on the virtual space and in reality, where many victims are trying so hard to share their stories of rape and sexual abuse, just so they can get their freedom from the monster of silence that eats deep into them, it’s been discovered that the society would rather shut them up than hear them out. Continue reading “The Society Isn’t Helping…”


Much Ado About Male Rape

Dear men,
There are reasons why male rape cases are under reported or most times treated with levity, one is because we are the first to make light of it when cases like this come up.
There is this popular joke about how a man who was raped in a street cried out and how the next day, a thousand and one men crowded the street, praying for an opportunity to be raped too.

Now you know what breaks my heart the most? This joke is being told by men and fellow men laugh at it.
Do you even know what this means? It means that men see rape as opportunity sex. Men pray to be raped.

Last week, I happened upon a thread here on facebook where a boy was telling his rape story. An imbecile came there to vomit cow dung; “Oboy allow us here word joor.. You don dey talk now as if you no enjoy am.” Just imagine!
I watched one of the most despicable comedy clip(which wasn’t funny anyway) ever on facebook;
A signpost was made saying that all male criminals are to be raped as punishment for their crimes.

A male thief was caught and raped and before he could walk out of the building, about 10 other men were there with their guns, ready to surrender and be raped.

And people were laughing and sharing this video. Damn! MEN acted this horror clip.
Now tell me, how do you expect the male rape victim to speak up after these things, knowing he would be a subject of ridicule in the eye of the public? Or that his case would just be taken as another joke with fellow men asking for the address where he was raped so that they too could go and get a share of the blessing?
Dear women
I hope you know that when you say cases of male rape is ‘minimal’ and as such shouldn’t be campaigned against as much as that of female rape, you are being inhumane?
Written by : VirginBoi Boyant


Guest’s Opinion

In Nigeria, women are raped for various reasons…

1. To “teach them a lesson”

2. For rejecting a guy’s sexual advances

3. For rejecting a guy’s advances and still “making guy” like the case of a guy called Emmanuel who said his friends “taught a girl a lesson” after refusing to date the boy yet she still dresses sexy

4. For wearing short/fitted dresses

5. For wearing long/loose dresses

6. By assailants sent by Mrs. Wife teach Ms. side chic a lesson

7. By their husbands and boyfriends who believe sex is their inalienable right and take-it-by-force they must

8. Randy school boys who want to show their “manliness”

9. To humiliate and publicly stigmatize them

10. To get at rival

11. For refusing a man’s gifts

12. To “humble” her

13. By Mr Randy husband to wife’s sister

14. Mr Randy husband or son to maid

15. By Mr Useless step-father to wife’s daughter (and many times, his own daughter)

In most of all these cases, these rapists are rarely blamed as much as the victim is.

In almost all cases, the rapist is shielded more than the victim is.

This girl 👇👇 is one of such unfortunate victims.

Then there’s the 11 year old at Balyesa.

Read about another 14 year old today who was brutally raped to death.  READ FULL ARTICLE HERE

Another one’s cousin raped his wife to a stupor. According to him he knew his cousin had an insatiable sexual appetite but he never thought he would do it to him. However I’m very sure that wasn’t the first woman his cousin was raping and the man knows about it. Sad.

We are raising animals and we are calling them our sons and brothers.

We are raising men who get offended and vindictive when a woman tells them “No”. The lyrics of our useless songs are not helping matters.

We are raising and enabling mad people to live amongst us by making excuses and covering up for their wickedness.

Rape is internal murder; a lovely young lady buzzed me inbox and shared how 17 years later she’s still haunted by her experience of being gang raped by 5 men.


I hate the powerlessness that comes comes with being a victim of sexual abuse, worse still I detest the powerlessness one feels against such injustice in a society like ours.

What can be done to curb the spate of rape in this Country? I’m thinking of organising free self defence classes in every state for women.

If you can gather women together at a venue in your area, please let me know. Eyi Astia Asseh is willing to help train ladies to defend themselves against attackers. Let’s start from there.

What else can be done? Don’t think anyone is completely cocooned from this menace, most of you are dating or are married to victims, have daughters who have fallen victims, have sons/brothers who are/have been rapists…..

In fact I’m tired.

Written by: Natalie Ewaen U

Demystify Abuse, Opinions

I heard Demeaning Voices

I heard demeaning voicesThere are limiting voices that come at us from left, right and center, these voices are often demeaning and annoying.

These voices are known for making us look inferior, damaged or incomplete to our own selves.

These voice would give you a million and one reasons why you cannot.

Below is a comment I made on his post and I hope it helps you go achieve all you plan, dream, hope to achieve in spite of those damned voices that tell you, you can’t do this, or do that… Continue reading “I heard Demeaning Voices”



Rape is evil, full stop. To my mind, there is no way to justify it, normalize it, or make it less repugnant. I believe you all agree. The last rape story I heard so heart-breaking. To this day, I wonder how I could empathize with such a degree of pain and carry on. It was about a girl who was raped by her own brothers. She was having her bath when Continue reading “THE RAPIST’S PHILOSOPHY: Will Rape Ever End”


On Rape And Opinions 2

After His first show of stupidity, the comedian uploaded another video, then sends Ms. Nkiru a private message which contained a link to a video, asking her rudely to go watch.


If we all have this zero tolerance for rape, and rape related jokes, then together we can put a stop to this stupid trend.

I’m about to head to bed and I get a ‘message request’ and because I’m a Facebook junkie I decide to check this message. It could be important, you know.

It turns out to be from our Rape-joke fiend.

In it he says a part two of the crap he put out the other day is out. ‘Watch it’. He tells me. And then he adds a link. Continue reading “On Rape And Opinions 2”