More sense on the issue of rape

“God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”

~ Robin Williams.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon some screenshots on a friend’s post, capturing a certain Twitter user’s rape experience. As usual, there were comments outrightly condemning rape and (unfortunately) comments blaming the victim. I took time to study the comments (a sampling of which I have included in the comment section, not to vilify the commenters but to elucidate the point I seek to make), especially from male commenters, that tacitly or explicitly blamed the victim in a bid to understand the mindset of many a Nigerian with regards to rape. These popular opinions—most of which point to the worrying fact that A LOT of Nigerians still don’t understand the concept of consent—have been distilled and simplified below 👇: Continue reading “More sense on the issue of rape”


Their Name Is Hope

On the day this picture was taken, it was not an entirely happy day for me. I was happy but unhappy and majority of my unhappiness was as a result of the living condition of the awesome children in the above picture.

They were not guilty of whatever led to their displacement, but they are now widely recognized as IDPs. They are away from the comfort of their previous homes which may not even be enough comfort. A lot has been taken away from them, but looking deep into their eyes and right through into their hearts, I saw ONE very important thing that has not been taken away from them… Continue reading “Their Name Is Hope”

Demystify Abuse


IMG_20171025_132655 Dear Justina Nneka Ideyi

Today’s Demystify Abuse Campaign event wouldn’t have been possible without God, your huge input, big heart and the support f every other person.

I remember, when we first spoke about our girl and I could feel the passion and compassion in your voice to help, and you did, all the wayyyyyy. I was happy and very grateful you did.

When we started the talks on how we would take the campaign train your PPA (Place Of primary Assignment) I was expectant and forged in anticipation.

You helped in being the middle women between the DAC team and the school administration, you were always ready to help and assist, and at our beck and call when we needed information.

When the bike rider brought me through the far distance, I was elated and hopeful of a successful time out with the students of Bishop Fitzgibbon Memorial Secondary School, Abara-Etche, Rivers State, Nigeria. And it was. Continue reading “DAC goes to BFMSS, ABARA-ETCHE”


Male Rape Is Not Less Than Rape


When the arguments on “if a male can be raped too“, I roll my eyes and wonder what planet some of us are from, but because ignorance, I forgive them.

When I read someone who understands the male struggle as I do, I can’t help but share…

Read Ijeoma Chinonyerem’s opinion on male rape.. Continue reading “Male Rape Is Not Less Than Rape”


On the International Day of the Girl Child

Yesterday, the 11th of October, 2017, the world celebrated the International Day of the Child and it was a time of sober reflection for me and some others ladies, because we really sat down to think about the struggles of being a girl child at such a time like this, and trust me, the struggle is real and it’s a similar struggle everywhere as almost every girl child can relate to it, while pondering on the struggles, we also proffered some solutions on how to overcome these struggles and achieve all that we as girls all over can achieve.

On Rights and Privileges:

In Africa, we record a high level of marginalization of the girl child as she is seen as inferior and less than her peers of the opposite gender, and so are denied a lot of privileges that should be accorded them for being humans.

I have been on many occasions denied my due rights at various times just because, gender and most times if not for the strong foot I put forward demanding my rights, I would not have received my due rights.


In Education, we are still battling to inculcate the importance of female education into the minds and hearts of many persons, especially Africans, and while we do this, we battle against old time cultural practices that seek to make this impossible or somewhat difficult.

I remembering growing up when I heard my father say, “She is a lady and does not need education as one day soon she will be married off to some man, who would have her stay at home doing nothing”, this hunted me for sometime till I got around to understanding myself and all I am capable of, and I decided not let my gender define me, and I believe I am not the only one that had to battle this sort of mindset while growing up.

On Marriages:

In Africa, we have a society where the purpose of a girl child is marriage and all they are their lives, they are trained and nurtured on how to be good home managers alone, paying no attention to their other skills or abilities that are not linked or limited to the home front.

Marriage is wonderful, but when it becomes all a girl aspires to, then something is truly wrong and should be fixed.


Demystify Abuse

As Rape Continues, we will not stop fighting

I am excited.
When I decided to push this movement, I was sure I was going to do so for the rest of my life. So help me God.
The journey began in December 2016 after the November 16th Incident and trust me there is no better way to be happy than choose to be hope crusader.
We are humans, we all have a story and I desire that we all channel our stories to world healing. I know the world is wounded and in dire need of healing.
My first visit to the IDP camp was an eye opener.
In a conversation I had with one lady from one of the IDP’s, she related how THEY get RAPED, SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, ABUSED and MOLESTED in their camps. They are already victims of the Boko Haram insurgence and now they are also victims of yet another major issue.

Continue reading “As Rape Continues, we will not stop fighting”


The Society Isn’t Helping…

demystify-abuse-1Following the recent happenings both on the virtual space and in reality, where many victims are trying so hard to share their stories of rape and sexual abuse, just so they can get their freedom from the monster of silence that eats deep into them, it’s been discovered that the society would rather shut them up than hear them out. Continue reading “The Society Isn’t Helping…”


Much Ado About Male Rape

Dear men,
There are reasons why male rape cases are under reported or most times treated with levity, one is because we are the first to make light of it when cases like this come up.
There is this popular joke about how a man who was raped in a street cried out and how the next day, a thousand and one men crowded the street, praying for an opportunity to be raped too.

Now you know what breaks my heart the most? This joke is being told by men and fellow men laugh at it.
Do you even know what this means? It means that men see rape as opportunity sex. Men pray to be raped.

Last week, I happened upon a thread here on facebook where a boy was telling his rape story. An imbecile came there to vomit cow dung; “Oboy allow us here word joor.. You don dey talk now as if you no enjoy am.” Just imagine!
I watched one of the most despicable comedy clip(which wasn’t funny anyway) ever on facebook;
A signpost was made saying that all male criminals are to be raped as punishment for their crimes.

A male thief was caught and raped and before he could walk out of the building, about 10 other men were there with their guns, ready to surrender and be raped.

And people were laughing and sharing this video. Damn! MEN acted this horror clip.
Now tell me, how do you expect the male rape victim to speak up after these things, knowing he would be a subject of ridicule in the eye of the public? Or that his case would just be taken as another joke with fellow men asking for the address where he was raped so that they too could go and get a share of the blessing?
Dear women
I hope you know that when you say cases of male rape is ‘minimal’ and as such shouldn’t be campaigned against as much as that of female rape, you are being inhumane?
Written by : VirginBoi Boyant


Guest’s Opinion

In Nigeria, women are raped for various reasons…

1. To “teach them a lesson”

2. For rejecting a guy’s sexual advances

3. For rejecting a guy’s advances and still “making guy” like the case of a guy called Emmanuel who said his friends “taught a girl a lesson” after refusing to date the boy yet she still dresses sexy

4. For wearing short/fitted dresses

5. For wearing long/loose dresses

6. By assailants sent by Mrs. Wife teach Ms. side chic a lesson

7. By their husbands and boyfriends who believe sex is their inalienable right and take-it-by-force they must

8. Randy school boys who want to show their “manliness”

9. To humiliate and publicly stigmatize them

10. To get at rival

11. For refusing a man’s gifts

12. To “humble” her

13. By Mr Randy husband to wife’s sister

14. Mr Randy husband or son to maid

15. By Mr Useless step-father to wife’s daughter (and many times, his own daughter)

In most of all these cases, these rapists are rarely blamed as much as the victim is.

In almost all cases, the rapist is shielded more than the victim is.

This girl 👇👇 is one of such unfortunate victims.

Then there’s the 11 year old at Balyesa.

Read about another 14 year old today who was brutally raped to death.  READ FULL ARTICLE HERE

Another one’s cousin raped his wife to a stupor. According to him he knew his cousin had an insatiable sexual appetite but he never thought he would do it to him. However I’m very sure that wasn’t the first woman his cousin was raping and the man knows about it. Sad.

We are raising animals and we are calling them our sons and brothers.

We are raising men who get offended and vindictive when a woman tells them “No”. The lyrics of our useless songs are not helping matters.

We are raising and enabling mad people to live amongst us by making excuses and covering up for their wickedness.

Rape is internal murder; a lovely young lady buzzed me inbox and shared how 17 years later she’s still haunted by her experience of being gang raped by 5 men.


I hate the powerlessness that comes comes with being a victim of sexual abuse, worse still I detest the powerlessness one feels against such injustice in a society like ours.

What can be done to curb the spate of rape in this Country? I’m thinking of organising free self defence classes in every state for women.

If you can gather women together at a venue in your area, please let me know. Eyi Astia Asseh is willing to help train ladies to defend themselves against attackers. Let’s start from there.

What else can be done? Don’t think anyone is completely cocooned from this menace, most of you are dating or are married to victims, have daughters who have fallen victims, have sons/brothers who are/have been rapists…..

In fact I’m tired.

Written by: Natalie Ewaen U