Men Can We Talk

Written by Tanimonure Richards Adewale

while the voices raged on, I turned my back on them and soared. I am still afloat.

Hello Mr Man; sorry, I mean Mr Rapist (that is your true name, isn’t it?), please, why on earth do you rape that girl or lady?

Why do you sexually abuse that minor? What explanation have you to offer? What justification for your act? And what kind of pleasure or fulfilment do you derive from it that satisfies your heart? Mr Man, what are your answers?

Rape and Sexual Abuse are two words like a cliché to a lot of people. They’ve heard it several times over and so do not really feel its impact or effect like that; more so, when they are not the victims involved. So the two words are just a ‘normal’ life occurrence happening every now and then, broadcasted on airwaves, printed as news or heard from someone else, probably from the victim. That is just the meaning they can derive from the two words.

But then, these words are more than that. They are the belly of great anguish suffered by so many of the feminine gender; the ruin that has come into their lives, permanent in stay at times; the bitterness of years in hearts, carried like Jesus’ cross, heavily everywhere; the mental and psychological trauma endured within a protective smile to the world. These two words have transformed innocence and purity into the painful change a girl can become: a diehard prostitute! Yes! They have badly shaped and changed the world of so many of them. The most painful and worst: some of the victims are ‘bellies of emptiness’ today as cursing womanhood. I mean they have no womb to carry a pregnancy for life! How saddening! So many ‘bastards’ living in our society because they do not know their fathers. They are products of rape/sexual abuse from unplanned and unwanted, forced pregnancies. So many tongues of rape!

Men, the above is why I am calling us together to sit and talk face to face; talk the bitter truth of this evil associated with us, reason it out and make the necessary and needed change for those concerned. Why do you rape? I ask again.

Womenfolk or the feminine gender of man are created as physical attraction to men. This attraction most times has a sensual undertone to it. No man will look at a lady and not feel ‘invited’ somehow, someway. This trait is inherent in us all, including our so-called ‘men of God’. We all live it every day because that is the way we’re wired: to be moved towards women like a butterfly to a flower.

However, the great problem, that has been our bane, and an evil seed that grows the act of rape, is the lack or absence of that compound word: SELF-CONTROL. Yes! Self-Control! The ability to tame or conquer our attraction (most times, excessive) to the feminity of a woman.

Most of us are so guilty of this. No wonder this lack of self-control breeds fornication and adultery like maggots in a dead animal. The other problem that fuels the fire of this inability is what is known as ‘spiritual bondage’; that is, when a man is possessed to commit fornication so much, he has no choice but to rape and sexually abuse. This is the pathetic and tears-dropping life of so many rapists and paedophiles. But then, bondage doesn’t just come on them like that, if not invited. One who allows faeces to be a guest on his body, definitely allows odour to manifest unpleasant to him too.

Men! Why can’t most of us control our sexual urges? And why desire what is not ours, so forcefully? Why should sex greediness consume so much, it becomes a deadly virus affecting our womenfolk so dreadfully? What genuine excuses do we have for committing rape and sexual abuse?

I hear some of you say women are to be blamed. How? That some of them wear provocative clothes that cause ‘disorganization’ in your groins; that some of them are so haughty and ‘difficult to woo’, the only option, best, to do so, is to plan a rape of them. I hear some say they have provoked so angrily to committing the act because the victim offended them so greatly and gravely. Yes! Some of you say, you just can’t control your sexual urge towards a woman you see or like, even though she is not harassing you clothes-wise. Hmmn! Hear words!

Truth be told to you men, none of what you stated above holds water. The fact is what I have explained before: YOU ALL LACK SEXUAL CONTROL THAT HAS BECOME A BONDAGE AS A BIG PAIN ON GIRLS/WOMEN. How many of us deal with indecently dressed ladies and yet never fell with to lust or rape? How many of us have wooed ladies, so difficult and failed; yet were never moved into raping them? How many ladies have provoked the great wrath of us, and we never assaulted them sexually, nor afflicted them with any evil as a form of punishment?

When a man yields his life to God truly and totally, he cannot go wild of sexual urges and temptations. Such life is given a divine power of control over his head, heart and body. Such a life feels sexually attracted, only to the woman he is given as wife. The demons of rape or sexual abuse cannot find a place of operation in such a life; not even that of lust to commit fornication or adultery.

So rapists and sexual abusers sirs, reading this piece, please surrender your lives to God truly and totally. Let him take charge and complete control. Don’t allow satan use you to destroy lives and finally destroy your lives too. Truth is bitter; it heals and delivers! Accept the truth. Embrace the truth. Live the truth. Rape and Sexual Abuse, even fornication and adultery are all evils that do the society no good. You have no justification for them. Remember, you have or will have sisters and daughters. I pray evil seeds won’t germinate bitter regrets for you all.

Stop Rape and Sexual Abuse now!
Stop Fornication and Adultery now!


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